May 19, 2014

Unscheduled P

I'm sitting here at my computer listening to the noon news on TV while the dog is warmly curled up in the armchair on this chilly, rainy Monday Happy Victoria Day, folks!

I use to dread dreary, rainy days but now I look so forward to them. Since I love being outside and always have enough yard work for a small army, a wet day outside is ok by me. I'm inside dry & trying to accomplish something. These damp days allow me to stay inside and get things caught up or like now, I can just sit and be.

 As you may have read in my introduction, my life has been a hectic, stressful, drama-filled life for the better part of my first 40. I was so busy doing everything for everyone all the time, I didn't have a need to make lists or schedule my appointments or tasks. I. Just. Kept. Going. The words "Don't stop. Just keep moving" played over and over in my head until my brain was too exhausted by trying to keep my body awake, I would sleep. Oh, the abuse trip I put my body and mind through! Human beings and the make-up of such really are resilient.

Now that I've made a life change, I've found that I really should be writing more things down and scheduling my time more. I just don't want to and I am not accustomed to it. Insert 'fighting the changes needed'. I went from 400 miles per hour to snail speed and just now trying to locate balance. I want to get it all done, enjoy every second of it but still be able to relax.

As much as I want the world to exist without expectations of me and I want to live my life unscheduled, things become undone very quickly without some sort of schedule. I am going against the grain. Again. Familiar trait I see quite often in myself. 

Now that I've got that off my mind, I can get on with today's tentative schedule: starting on the re-organization of my basement. It's only been on my mind for 5 years. If you don't hear back from me for quite some time, no worries, I'm in the basement getting re-organized. 

I'm finding that the effort I'm putting in to regain an unwanted schedule must be a constant conscious effort. I am trying. And yet, plays repeatedly in my head.


No comments:

Post a Comment

Comments system