October 16, 2016

Dead Wood

Most of us work for a living. Most of us have to and some of us, like me, just simply love to work. I love the work. I hate everything else that goes along with it.

I recently read an article that was talking about how management needs to "manage out the dead wood". In 2016, you think so? I've been saying this my entire working life and it's been a lifetime and it has never been appreciated by anyone who could do anything about the dead wood.

Supervisors, managers and VPs don't want to deal with any issues from the low hanging fruit. This is a shame. Oh, they have all the excuses of why they "can't" do anything about ongoing problems and in the same breath they demand more, more, more productivity. Employees need to be faster, stronger...robotic.

My friends know I'm no lover of the corporate world. Corporations promise you the world but you get their world - the corrupt corporate empire. You think you're going to be part of the family in a great conglomeration. You mistakenly think your long hours, fierce loyalty and hard work will pay off on more than one front and you will feel complete and productive professionally. You believe you will be taken seriously and treated fairly. The truth is that no matter how small the corporation is that you work FOR, you are still just a number. And management and the human resource department don't want to hear from you if you're slamming issues onto to their desks. They want solutions but appear to be confused when you explain a quick cut solution to a problem. Do the ties cut off circulation to their brains or is it the tight grip the CEOs, CFOs and CAOs have on their groin areas?

Sure, over the years I became jaded and well, let's just say it, bitchy. A sane, happy person can only walk into a crappy work environment with a smiled slapped on her face for so long without actually calling out the dead wood.

Let's take one manager's comment, "You don't have any family. Rodney (the supervisor) does and he needs the time off. Why do you need time off at Christmas?" "Well, maybe because I've volunteered to work the past two Christmases and I have plans this year." And from that point on, I had plans ALL the time starting at 4:31pm and ending at 7:59am.

Or let's take the fact that "I can't afford to pay you overtime" while the other salaried staff was paid for every quarter hour worked. Needless to say, I was busy after work hours ALL the time.

What about the call from my manager whining to me how hard he was working on the budget forecast at home that particular week. When I finally took my first break at 2pm and went home for lunch, the manager and his wife were looking at the house for sale next door. Sure, he could have been taking a late lunch too. Sure.

That same guy was demoted a few years later because his marriage was falling apart because as the VP stated, "He was working 120 hours a week." Cough. No one standing at that meeting fell down but the eye contact among staff said it all. I wondered how the manager could possibly be working so hard...from home. My second thought was, why promote a salesman to a management position if he can't do the job in under 120 hours per week. And really, each week that only left the guy with 48 hours of free time. I'd say that time was used to sleep but that would be foolish.

Marty would come to work spewing stories of his "great" times. Could just be me but I expect more professionalism from my managers. I want them to be human but I don't need anymore friends. I'm going out on a limb here but I'm going to guess that his (second) wife didn't like the fact that he sat up drinking and gambling online all the time. He even admitted that he was in the doghouse because he was so drunk he fell into the closet doors and broke them both right off the hinges. Kids and their partying. Oh wait. Are you considered a kid when you're mid 40s? Maybe bratty kids shouldn't be trying to manage a multi-million dollar organization. Leave some things to the adults. I wonder if he is still alive? I still wonder who approved Marty's wife to print off wedding invitations on the corporate printer. Oh silly me, I'm sure corporate was reimbursed.

Oh but we're suppose to be sympathetic because he takes pills to wake him up, pills to make him happy and pills to make him sleep? All because he chose to drive drunk and killed his friend? Not in this lifetime. And he couldn't even take the medication properly. If you take your sleeper pill at 8am, you're going to fall asleep at work likely.

I had a supervisor who left work one morning because his wife and brother needed their propane tank filled up (incapable people I guess) and he didn't return to work until the next day. Pig in a python perhaps? Funny, I've filled my bbq propane tank, vehicle gas tank, washed the car and still had time to do oh, a million things that same day. Then again, this was the guy who ate two chocolate bars every day at 10am so maybe he crashed from the sugar high and just couldn't move any faster. I wonder if he is still alive?

Ok, so you're saying that those are just situations from my point of view. Fine. They are indeed, the facts, not just how I see them but as they really were. Minor? Ok, but it certainly didn't make me respect management. Tell me it's unfair of me to expect higher standards from management.

How about co-workers? Surely, they are more productive and conduct themselves accordingly. Employees shouldn't lie, cheat or steal, right? So why does management not want to hear when these things are happening? They don't know how to deal with it. The foreman is trying to look good to the supervisor. The supervisor is trying to impress the manager. The manager's only goal is to be promoted by the VP. The VP is accountable to the CEO and shareholders. Well, hell, I was a shareholder. Should they not listen to me?

I'm a happy, this life is all we have type person. I go into work each day with a smile and a "Good morning!" If you're not a morning person, get a night job. Seriously. I have no patience left for you moody, suck-the-life-out-of-me, non-morning people. I'm not asking for a kidney. You won't die by saying good morning to your co-workers. I promise. Eventually, I got tired of receiving grunts as a hello and just stop interacting with moody children.

There was a funny incident one morning when I came in and smiled and said, "Morning" to an acting manager. She quickly corrected me by saying, "It's GOOD morning!" to which I replied that my asthma was acting up the previous night so I tried to get some sleep sitting upright in a chair so that particular day was just a "morning" day. When you put people in positions of power, it DOES go to their head.

The funny part came when another manager and a co-worker walked into work together and they both replied to the "actor" with "morning". Because I was so done with this organization, I loudly and firmly corrected them by saying "It is GOOD morning!" because the acting manager did not correct them as she did me. They both looked at me like I was on glue. Yeah, I was popular. A GOOD employee can only take so much crap from people whose eyes are so brown...and I don't apple-polish. Blind management rubs my rhubarb.

I can't count how many times I looked up from my desk to see Bob sleeping at his desk. Yep, just sitting there sleeping at this desk. I'd call him and tell him that customers just pulled up so "You might want to look alive." Ok, not my job but really, let's TRY to look like we're a professional team. I got so fed up with Bob that I told the manager that she might want to wake Bob up from his slumber. Zero-tasking was his specialty and then he got paid to work overtime to catch up on what he didn't get done while he was sleeping. The manager replied, "I've never seen him sleeping at his desk." Oh, ok, your office is next to mine and you face Bob's desk but you've never noticed him sleeping on the clock. Wow, you must be so enthralled with securing your next promotion.

Here's some advice. When you know co-workers are stealing time or product, you do not tell management. Even if it is your job, it's not your job. Even if it is dividend money, it's your not your money. It's only your conscience. Nobody else cares. We sit in meeting after meeting listening to droning corporate bigwigs demand more productivity and defending cost-saving measures such as wage freezes and reduced hours but nobody cares about loss by theft. Oh, they account for that right off the hop. Ok. Makes me really want to work and interact with my dishonest and thieving co-workers. Gotcha. My mistake. I cared and thought theft would be frowned upon and cleaned up.

I remember one supervisor who hoarded all the refreshments that were left over from meetings, conferences and special events. Instead of leaving them out for staff and clients to enjoy, she squandered them away in her locked 4' x 6' cabinet in her locked-lights-give-me-a-migraine office. Without exaggerating she had three full shelves of corporate-bought food. I was in total shock of the stash this miserly woman was locking away. Sad part really was that after each snack, she'd need to go outside for a smoke. Remember when productivity was at an all-time high? When smoking was allowed in the workplace?

I had another supervisor who decided that for every one hour of overtime we worked, we deserved double or triple OT banked. Nice of her to give away corporate time. Shock doesn't even begin to describe my feelings on this one. I could either go above her head and snitch or I could quit. I took the quick route and quit. I have to be able to look myself in the mirror each day. My supervisor was the anointed one by all in that second floor corporate jungle. No one would have believed me. Realistically, our director likely knew all about it anyway. Surely she wasn't so blind not to see all that overtime wasn't legitimate and yet, she approved each and every hour. Funny how non-profits need so many government grants. I wonder what they do with all the money?

So yes, some of this is laughable, now, I suppose. Unfortunately. Other situations are not so easy to slough off. When a co-worker chose to give me false information in order for me to send off a fraudulent warranty claim, and I called him on it and he confessed, I'd had it. Having my supervisor roll his eyes at me was very telling. I have integrity and flat out refused to have anything more to do with that particular issue. Did I mention I was popular? Such a team player I am. I don't care who you are or who you think you are, when you expect me to lie for you and commit fraud for you, you are dead to me. And useless.

One time when I took a billing to my supervisor and pointed out that he overcharged the customer and explained the situation, I was overruled. I knew the truth. I knew that job inside and out. Why screw a repeat customer? In my mind, there's absolutely no need or reason to do that. Corporations make money. They need to choose to pull a profit legitimately. The suits in positions of power need to make certain that lower held chairs are not put in situations that make them choose to do the right thing or the fraudulent thing.

Another time in my wonderful corporate world of employment I was asked to "just move some time from here to here". Did my training allow me to do that? Sure. I transferred information on a daily basis. Was I authorized to do that? No. I stood in the doorway to my supervisor's office and stated, "I won't manipulate labour for your other staff. Or anyone. It's illegal." So I wasn't a good fit with that particular corporate environment because I didn't possess that certain backdoor mentality. Surely, not every corporation was so integrity-lacking.

Then there was the position I held where I just had too much financial information at my fingertips. Sometimes less is more. When your manager is allowing double-dipping and you are slapped in the face with it once a week, you better not have any integrity because you will need to overlook that too. Hopefully you realize you're in a no-win situation and find resolution within yourself. Beware of people who are scared of audits.

While every disappointing situation I've mentioned has affected me at some level, I was not ready for Ralph. I was in a new job, great position, successful corporation and I was ready and excited to get started on my new path! The supervisor was down to earth, knowledgeable and patient. I thought he was a little too friendly but hey, I was new and he was just trying to make me feel welcome. How can you fault someone for being pleasant in this day and age? A few days on the job and he was still introducing me to everyone. We went up into office so I could meet a couple guys I'd be working fairly close with. Press the flesh completed. The next thing my supervisor said was, "Don't worry. She left her whips and chains at home today." The other two guys didn't smile. Didn't laugh. The next thing I remember is walking down the long set of stairs. I guess the meeting was over. I have no idea what was discussed. I quit that job, leaving a complaint and being told Tom will take it to the department head. I said, "I don't care. I quit." I was young and I learned that the supervisor was not fired. That has corporate stink all over it. My complaint did nothing. Maybe I should have done more but to what end? I did what I could manage at the time. Too bad people who make policies don't realize that they have wives, daughters, mothers, etc who are in the workforce and can and are being treated this way? To get by, I know that every dog gets their day.

I realize people are flawed so it's understandable that people in business will be flawed. That I can handle. Just don't expect all of us to join you in your mission to destruct. For myself, I can't listen to the incessant jargon used by people trying to climb the corporate ladder and those trying to stay on the rungs. I was a great employee who was trying to hold up the ladders so it all didn't come crashing down. Sometimes I take on too much and while I don't particularly care to be the centre of attention, I'm usually the lightning rod and I have a couple resume stains which are really character strength.

In order to be successful in a corporation you're either an armchair general, too big to care about what's really going on at lower levels or you're a yes-man, willing to do whatever it takes to be successful. If you're an above-board, conscientious, law-abiding person, corporate will chew you up and spit you out if they can't turn you out. Corporations do not empower you. Get your own ducks in a row moving forward for yourself. Get back to your own core values. Let them peel back the onion themselves. I hate to break their crayons but they don't colour clearly anyhow. Corporate bullying should not be tolerated. Shame on the bullies. Any corporate head who has a big enough brass ball needs to hard-stop the bs.

When it comes to corporate bs, the juice isn't worth the squeeze. The bird is worth the flip though.

And so today is Boss's Day...

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